ASHLEY 

What places on your body do you hope to see differently?

I have always been incredibly insecure about my thighs/hip region, and my stomach. 

How do you feel about them currently?

When I was a ballet dancer I loved my legs, they were my powerhouses. But then when I started modeling my thighs were the thing that wouldn't get me jobs or would be the reason I didn't get signed to an agency because I was "too athletic" and "out of proportion" or so they said. I was encouraged to walk and swim more so that I could tone down by thighs. It wasn't until I moved to NY and literally was walking miles and miles more that I lost all of that "athleticism" that I had in my thighs from being in shape. Now I'm the most stick and bones I've ever been but it doesn't make me feel better about myself. I actually feel weak. 

Back when I was modeling I loved my stomach, it was the only thing that I felt like was getting me booked for jobs, other than my flaming red curly hair. As the years have passed though and I no longer modeling or dancing and am not really working out as I barely even have time in my days to find time to rest I have lost the stomach that I recognized my entire life. There is no muscle, just skin, and whatever fats I do manage to hold onto. It feels flabby and like I've lost my center self - not just physically but as a person sometimes, too. I guess I never really put the two together until right now. 

How do you react, what happens, when you see these parts of your body this way?

They look very soft and warm and inviting. Like mother's milk or something. They don't make me think about all the times I would be running on the treadmill for hours or doing crunches or stressing out when I had to walk down a runway in a bikini and thinking how "out of proportion" my body looked compared to the other girls. It looks like someone who is comfortable in her own skin despite it not being "in shape." 

Who would you be if you really loved your body? 

I would feel sexy and absolutely beautiful every day. I would love my flab as it came and went as it is the reflection of the beautiful life I live. 

What hopes do you have that would arise when other people see these images? When you see these images?

I hope that these images show other people that just because I'm skinny doesn't mean that I'm in shape. And also just because I'm not toned and sometimes have scrapes and bruises and when it gets cold you can see my veins and my bones stick out everywhere doesn't mean I can't feel beautiful and sexy too. That's what these pictures make me feel, beautiful and sexy.